Some baseball stories on cards:

Here are some of the baseball cards I have been designing and printing recently. I use old-school lithograhy to make the plates, then print them on thick cardstock, then coat them with a plastic UV coating. They’re very glossy – some of the most attractive baseball cards being issued. Every card has a story.

This is a four card set, each set five years apart in the life of Shoeless Joe

I colorized old black & white photos, and photographed old parchment for background

Here’s Sal “the Barber”  Maglie – guy who would throw the ball right at your head if you pissed him off, and your presence in the batters box might be enough to piss him off:

Sal The Barber

And this is Dock Ellis, who now is a drug counselor in L.A., and who was a great pitcher whether he was tripping or not:

"I can't see the catcher, he's so small!"

The cards are available on Portasite.com and by a whole lot of guys on EBAY. Most of them sell for $1-2 per card.

The new Bacliff trailer park

photo courtesy of Shady Poplar Bluff Mobile Home Community. Hot Coffee, W Va

Some of our friends in Bacliff are going to be getting some new neighbors soon. FEMA, in its’ infinite wisdom, has decreed that a trailer park will be established in the midst of the (mostly) wealthy folks who live near the bay along Bayshore Drive. This trailer park will be inhabited with people who have been approved by FEMA to receive housing assistance. Among those slated to infest the new digs, there are very few rich folks. The typical resident is expected to be what a less politically correct writer would refer to as “scrubby, lowdown, inbred, uneducated losers”. I shall not do so. I say they are simply folks who have experienced a bit of hard luck.
There is much concern that these new residents will be “from the projects in Galveston”, and that they will not “fit in” with the demographics of the neighborhood surrounding the trailer park. Not that anyone cares what color they are – everybody says that doesn’t matter. It’s the socio-economic thing. It would be cruel, some insist, to remove these people from their natural element, and subject them to a culture that is as foreign to them as indoor plumbing is to a cajun coonass. People worry that their property values will drop, that crime will increase, that their bicycles will be stolen and repainted, and a host of other troubles. People worry that the health of the new residents may suffer due to formaldehyde in the trailers, and the possibility of lead poisoning in the air around the trailer park. There is a lot of concern among the well-heeled folks in the neighboring subdivision.
It need not be this way. There is a solution that might upset a few people, but will not fail to displease everyone else. It would be gratifying to see the folks in that neighborhood, rather than being cynical, use this opportunity to help along the refugees. Perhaps, given a better cultural experience, these people can be improved upon.
A good neighbor would invite them to play golf – even if you have to teach them which end of the club to hold. Invite them over for barbecue, let them swim in the pool, invite them to go along when you attend performances of the Houston Sympathy Orchestra. I am sure that once they have been exposed to fine arts and coastal living, they will change the way they think. They will adapt to the leisurely pace of life in our sleepy village, and many of them (if not most) will be so enchanted, they will never want to leave.
Perhaps their children will put away their switchblades and Glocks, and opt for the more civilized larceny perpetrated with fountain pens. In a few years, some may even vote a straight Republican ticket and drink wine coolers.
Maybe in a year or two, the trailer park will become a place where debutante balls are held for young ladies who are “coming out” instead of baby showers for teenagers who are “knocked up”.
Now, there is nothing more annoying than someone who hasn’t “been there – done that” handing out a bunch of advice. It is mildly irritating to hear someone give you a truck full of advice while they perch down the road a bit, unaffected by the situation. I myself have been imposed upon like that, to the point of gunplay. So I must assure our readers that I know what I am talking about – I have been in a similar situation.
A few years back, I was employed by Mr. Moody’s Insurance Company in Galveston. My job was primarily to serve as a drinking buddy to a significant top executive of that firm and his top echelon of policy-peddlers. One day the American National “up and bought” a little tiny insurance company up in the Smoky mountains – they’re smoky because there are a lot of moonshine stills and cross-burnings punctuating the pristine mountain air – at least it used to be like that, I ain‘t been back. I was sent to audit the books and initiate a firing spree, all in 8 weeks.
The Bobs in Galveston were giving me a flat $35 per day for motel rooms, and I found myself a furnished trailer for just $80 per week, utilities included. This looked like a $165 per week pay raise, so I took my suitcase to the Shady Poplar Bluff Trailer Park, flush with extra cash in all 4 pants pockets.
I don’t know why they named the place like they did, because it wasn’t very pop’lar – although there were enough bluffs to make up for it, and the shady part seemed appropriate. Everybody in the trailer park came over to greet me before I could even get my car unloaded. They all helped me unload without being asked, and didn’t expect anything in return except for cigarettes, beer, and a few small household appliances they sequestered and later sold back to me one at a time.

the friendly neighbors were always dropping in

I looked around at the faces in that trailer park, and saw people who had been struck by a tragedy. The “hurricane” that had struck them was a slow process, but it left them in need just as sure as if it had been an earthquake. I saw 9 year old girls dipping snuff; 80 year-old grannies in miniskirts, with ary a tooth left to smile with; 16 year-olds with three kids; great-grandmothers who were not yet 40 years old; I heard fiddle music and domestic quarrels and saw people wearing wife-beaters, overalls, and boxer shorts when they got all dressed up. I saw young men who were learning the tradition of “loafing” from wizened porch captains. I knew these people needed a taste of higher things. They needed exposure to a better culture.
I did my small part during the short two months I was there. With all the extra money I was making, I went regularly to the biggest Goodwill store I could find, and bought all the suits, neckties, prom dresses, formal gowns, Sinatra records, alligator handbags, fondue sets, whatever used items that looked like they had originally been owned by rich folks. Then, I put a metal “shed” in back of my trailer, and started putting the “goods” in there. I never had to say a word, or offer anything to a soul. As soon as I would leave to go to work, they would descend on the shed and “liberate” a few trinkets. I never spent $300 on such a worthy cause in my life.

I was able to help plan an elaborate formal wedding while I was there. The ceremony was in fine taste, and even the shotgun was painted white to match the napkins and paper plates.

On the day I said farewell to the Shady Poplar Bluffs, I was gratified at what had been accomplished. Across the way, ‘Tilda Pike was making cappucino and a pot of grits, wearing a red power dress while the sound of the Boston Pops and an occasional fart came wafting over. The guy next door stopped over to bid me an adieu, wearing a three-piece navy blue suit with an outrageously wide tie with an owl embroidered on it. He looked positively statesmanlike in that suit – he would have been elected county judge in Harris County in that suit. As I looked him over, from the collar of his Regal Hathaway shirt to the Gucci dress loafers, I was very proud of helping him. The only thing I thought he might need would be a pair of socks. Other than that, from the neck down he was immaculate.
Even the landlady, when I stopped to get my key deposit back, had apparently got in on the plunder. She was wearing a sequined black dinner gown and a pair of the very best Nike running shoes. I heard Mantovini and the 900 Strings emanating from her 8 track player. Her husband was asleep in the recliner, adorned with Mardi Gras beads and a porkpie stetson hat.
As I departed, I saw little kids stomping through the mud puddles in Buster Brown shoes and frilly little dresses – boys and girls alike. The old geezer who sold the moonshine was wearing a top hat and carrying a fine English cane, though he was shirtless.
These people, I realized, had been transformed. They would never again wallow in a lack of culture – but rather, they had learned to wallow in a different, parallel culture instead. If not for the fact that I was emotionally unaffected by all of this, I might have shed tears.

'Tilda Pike resplendent in her Dior dress - she referred to it as a "door dress". She liked it so much she wore it for weeks at a time.

I have often congratulated myself on doing my small part to reform the savages in that trailer park. I believe similar results could probably be achieved in Bacliff, with a modicum of success. I am ready to lend such expertise to the effort as I have, in fact I am already planning to provide free accordion lessons to the kids who move in.

High Island Recon

Final post of the year – via Blackberry from High Island, Texas. 43 inch reds are running in the surf at the Chambers County Line:

Jamen, Kadie, and Craig with one of several 40+ inch redfish they caught yesterday

3 were caught yesterday afternoon  by some folks next to where we had camped. When I say “we”, I do not have a mouse in my pocket – I refer to the Queen Bitch Of The Word and Lucifer, the Prince of Dogness.

How to get there: Take the ferry from Galveston and go 29 miles until the road curves. Don’t curve – go straight. You are now on the “Lost Highway” – Texas route 87 – abandoned in 1983 after Hurricane Alicia. Theoretically, the Lost Highway goes 30 miles to Sabine Pass, and then you can cross into Louisiana just above Holly Beach. But the last time anybody made it the whole way was 2003 in a 4wd Ford Bronco – it took the guy 8 hours. He brought sheets of plywood to drive on, and had to use them a lot.

I used to drive Route 87 when I was a teenager in West Orange – it was the beach road, We’d cross the ominously steep and narrow “Rainbow Bridge” at Port Arthur, then head south on 87 to High Island. These days it’s a great place to camp.

The first mile or so is mostly fishermen and campers. Once you get out about 2-3 miles, there are more topless sunbathers, gay blades, and beach voyeurs with binoculars making everything somewhat creepy.

However, I have never seen it crowded, since it is so far away from everything. Since Hurricane Ike, it’s virtually deserted down here.

If you got em, smoke em

Some popular smokers proving what I have been saying all along: Smoking is cool, and it makes you look sophisticated. The benefits are worth the slight risks involved. I encourage everyone to start smoking, and I hope the Big Three tobacco companies get a bailout.

Fux News tried to make a big deal about O's smoking.

looks like a Newport

yep Newport

Bush caught smoking

my hero

Problem Solving made easy in the Big Apple

In 2001, there was a huge problem in America’s greatest city. After having emerged from bankruptcy, New York City was faced with a multi-billion dollar crisis. This crisis revolved around real estate in the center of Manhattan Island, the World Trade Center complex.
Owned by the Port Authority, the Trade Center was losing tons of money. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the buildings at the site were filled with deadly asbestos. The towers were structurally unsuited to modern fiber-optic and internet technologies, and burdened with a horrendous and slow elevator system that involved two changes to get to the top, which was impossible to modify. Even removing the asbestos wouldn’t make the site profitable – there were too many other problems.
The Port Authority looked into asbestos removal, and discovered that – due to the exterior frame structure – removing the asbestos was practically impossible. And even if the asbestos could somehow be safely removed, rental income wasn’t going to go up. In fact, the site would have to sit vacant for 2-3 years. They also discovered that it would be impossible to demolish the buildings, because any demolition would release tons of deadly asbestos dust into the most populated part of New York City. No politician on Earth would approve a permit – Manhattan would have to be completely evacuated for weeks at a cost of billions. So it was that Mayor Rudy Guiliani and the City of New York had run out of options. The only thing that could be done was to continue to operate the buildings at a loss. There were no alternatives left on the table.
The World Trade Center also posed a serious problem for the company that manufactured the asbestos. That company was called Harbison-Walker, and it was a subsidiary of Dresser Industries.
Dresser had recently been acquired by Houston-based Hallibuton, through the efforts of Halliburton CEO Dick Cheney. Although Vice President Cheney has been good for Halliburton, his buying of Dresser became a fiscal “turd” in 2002 when Halliburton had to pay $4 billion to settle thousands of asbestos lawsuits. Halliburton was facing a tremendous crisis with the World Trade Center, because there was no legal way to remove the asbestos, which was sitting on top of the most valuable parcel of commercial real estate in the United States.
So it was that the Vice President, Halliburton, and New York City all had a problem. The buildings couldn’t be demolished, the asbestos couldn’t be removed, the WTC was losing money hand-over-fist, and the asbestos lawsuits were coming out of the woodwork.
The Port Authority had tried to sell the site, but no one wanted it. After all, according to all of the experts the site was beyond repair. Only an idiot would buy the site. (Enter “idiot” stage left).
Larry Silverstein is a New York real estate investor and personal friend of three Israeli Prime Ministers.
In 2001, only six weeks before 9-11, Silverstein agreed to buy the World Trade Center property through a 99 year lease that added up to $3.2 billion. This was a ridiculous move on his part, because there was absolutely no way he was going to turn a profit. In fact, the losses from the new acquisition would likely bankrupt Silverstein Properties within a couple of years! People who were close to the deal were thinking Larry had gone off his rocker. Did Larry expect the obsolete structures to last 99 years? No, he did not. In fact, it seems he expected the structures to be destroyed in a terrorist attack. Silverstein’s contract with the Port Authority reportedly included a clause stating that if the buildings were destroyed by an act of terrorism, Silverstein would not have to make any more payments, would own the site “free and clear”, and would be free to collect insurance proceeds from the loss of the buildings! This is not, as you might imagine, a standard clause in any commercial lease. It is in fact unique. Larry then cancelled the existing insurance policies on the site, and reinsured with a different company. The old coverage had excluded acts of terrorism. In the new policies, Silverstein insisted acts of terrorism be covered.
Then, on 9-11, three buildings fell down – looking for all the world just like the controlled demolition of a Las Vegas hotel. And this unprecedented event solved all of the problems!
I know you’re now saying “Yeah, but if the WTC was a controlled demolition, how could anyone have gained access to plant demolitions and bypassed the security guards and systems?”
Less than a week before 9-11, New York newspapers reported a “heightened security alert” at the WTC. Security personnel from Securacom were reportedly “working 12 hour shifts” because of “numerous phone threats” made against the buildings. On September 6th, Securacom removed the bomb-sniffing dogs from the WTC, an action that has never been explained. Securacom, oddly enough, was run at the time by Marvin Bush – the President’s brother. Then, on the weekend before 9-11, September 8-9, the Trade Center underwent a “power-down” ostensibly for a cabling upgrade to improve the WTC’s computer bandwidth. With power off, security cameras and electronic security locks on doors were inoperative, giving teams of “engineers” free access. Abundant vacant office space in both towers may have afforded an opportunity for demolition personnel – posing, perhaps, as contractors – to do preparatory tasks before 9/11.
At least the sons of bitches minimized fatalities. 54,000 people worked in the Twin Towers or were visiting during office hours, and fewer than 2,600 were killed. Because the attacks happened early in the morning, the people who died were generally of three types: First, poor people – most of them black, Hispanic, or recent immigrants – who worked as janitors, handymen, food deliverers, and so on; Second, low-ranking white collar workers: the secretaries and junior managers who had to be in the office before the bosses arrived, and; Third, firefighters, police, and other rescue workers. There were no titans of industry who died there. At the Pentagon there were over 20,000 staff, of whom only 125 were killed. Again, no one of major rank died.
If the hijackers really did all the planning they are said to have done, wouldn’t they have maximized their effort to kill as many Americans as possible? Instead, we see that the attacks actually minimized the loss of lives. The number of Americans killed was pretty close to the number who died in the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. Speaking of which…
Oddly enough, a group called the Project for a New American Century (PNAC) had issued a report in September of 2000, stating that the only way to get support to “rebuild America’s defenses” would be through “some catastrophic and catalyzing event, like a new Pearl Harbor.”
Who is PNAC? Oh, it’s a group whose members include: Marvin Bush, Jeb Bush, Dick Cheney, Richard Perle, Don Rumsfeld, John Bolton, Scooter Libby, William Kristol and other top neoconservatives.
They’re the guys who invented the concepts of “Preemptive War” and “Total Information Awareness”. They also invented the idea of a “new Pearl Harbor”.
After 9-11, defense spending skyrocketed, personal freedoms and rights were infringed upon, torture was approved and institutionalized, and the USA PATRIOT ACT was passed, a document which contains 114 points of synchronicity with the “Enabling Acts” passed by NAZI Germany when Hitler took power. The 9-11 attacks seem to have been the best thing that could have possibly happened for those who espoused the PNAC ideology. It solved their problem too.
PNAC was formed specifically to promote the notion that America, as the world’s only remaining superpower, should “take over the world” using our economic and military strength to usher in a “New American Century” in which the US (and our allies, Israel and Britain) could dominate and subjugate the rest of the world, and control the world’s resources.
But, like cartoon villains who plot world domination, their plans seem to have gone down a shithole. Public support for their agenda is gone, with political support drying up quickly. Their last hope was Hilary, who was on-board. The only thing that can save them now is “a new, new Pearl Harbor” or a “new Dealey Plaza” – something that can either defeat, remove, or co-opt Barack Obama. Otherwise, their agenda will fail. This is of course unacceptable. Failure is not an option in the New World Order spawned by Daddy Bush and his crazy friends. Don’t be surprised if another false-flag operation occurs soon.

bailoutapalooza

Cheney invites Obama to drink the Jim Jones juice of torture.

Vice President Cheney revels in his “Darth Vader” nickname, frequently joking that his wife says it “humanizes him” – kind of like a like a cute fuzzy holster humanizes a .357 mag, or making tie-dye hand grenades to look like Easter eggs “humanizes” them.

Yesterday, in two interviews, Cheney encouraged President-Elect Obama to come over to the dark side.

After acknowledging his role in approving the waterboarding of detainees, Cheney urged Obama in an ABC News interview to reconsider his “campaign rhetoric” and instead “retain the tools that have been so essential in defending the nation for the last seven and a half years.”

Cheney warmly reminisced of his own experiences: “Sometimes the art of persuasion isn’t pretty. I myself have used the penis of a pig on reluctant detainees, but only in my private life. I say to Obama, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it” Cheney said.

President Bush has said that he does not believe in waterboarding, which until recently he had confused with surfing, an oceanic sport. “I’m not too keen on waterboarding prisoners” Bush said to reporters, “I like electrocuting them much better.”

Cheney also said the prison at Guantanamo Bay should stay open as long as there is a war on terror – or the potential for future terrorists to be born, which, since there will always be terror, means forever.

“I actually think we should expand Gitmo and open additional detention facilities all over the world” Cheney said. “There are enemy sympathizers right here in America who ought to be sent there for some therapy. It’s been quite successful and lots of fun for everyone.”

Asked about his legacy, Cheney grinned and, in a moment of complete candor, said “I ain’t fucking through yet.”

Now, here is a son of a bitch who is PROUD of actions that America has always shunned. The Germans and the Japs and the Viet Cong tortured – but not us. I guess he hopes Obama will share in the blood and thus be unable to prosecute those guilty of crimes against international law.

Until Cheney is tried, convicted, and imprisoned for his crimes, we do not live in a nation of laws.